Little Voice

Dear Lord,
  Thank you for letting me share how much you mean to me to others. As I meet new people I try to get to know them on a personal level, where there lives are going and where Gods plan is taking them. Then I tell them about myself and how I have just recently came back to church and as I say that I get a look of wow. Can a 22 year old that is starting his journey over with Jesus go and spread the word or should we just listen to the elders who sometimes claim to be closer instead of listening to the young men and women who are glowing in the light of Christ. I'm not saying not to listen to our elders or even our youth but No Matter What listen to the little voice in our hearts. I have learned almost everything I know about the church from my dad. He is a natural born leader of Christ. He has moved from Florida, South Carolina, and now North Carolina and taken something that was nothing, the Cursillo Movement, and watered, nurturered, and feed it till now all three are blooming and flurishing. I cant wait to get to Alaska and truly start my ministry and shine my light in a dark place.Become the leaded Jesus wants me to be. Not falling into the holes people try and pull you into but show them how to live life with passion and teach them how to strive for greatness within them selves. Clean out there hearts to let the light in so they can go forth and show others how to live with passion and purpose.

      Knowing that I only have 7 days till I leave I feel that I should not be as calm as I am. As it grows closer you would think that I would be stressing on do I have enough money or where am I going to live when I get there. But having Jesus on my side He has slowed the storm and calmed the seas inside me. As I have said before if you truly give yourself, your heart body and soul, to God He will take care of all your needs. Worrying never added any time to our days so live today and let tomorrow worry about itself for tomorrow has enough problems of its own.

Excitement

  

     My Adventure starts in 10 days, wow, I cant wait it seems like this process has taken years to accomplish. I am so anxious on getting to Alaska I decided to pitch a tent in the back yard for a few days if not till I leave. I say that I an excited to leave but my heart feels sad for the fact that I am leaving my family and my best friend of the past 10 years. His name is Otis our family dog. He has been there for me when nobody else was, you can tell him anything and you always know that he wont go run off and tell the world. As my trip grows closer I keep asking God if this is truly what he wants from me and if so then I am all for it, just help me when I feel sad for not being close to the people I love. I had my garage sale this past weekend and it was kind of a let down.My mom and I were both selling things for her to spring clean and for me to make a few extra bucks before I leave. My mom made great money, one lady bought almost all her old clothing and others bought the other junk while my stuff just sat there. I'm not going to get upset because if I had only made one dollar that's one more that I didn't have. We had our garage sale at one of my parents friends house and after wards I asked them if they wanted to come out to the house as a thank you dinner. They decided to come and I cooked one of my favorite meals to cook fajitas made with skirt steak and chicken.Yum. As I sit out side I thank Jesus for all the gifts He gave us, the birds flying in the beautiful blue sky, the cool air rushing through the valley, and the wonderful mountain views.

This is Otis being a good boy coming to me when I called him.

   So last night didn't work out as planned I thought it would be nice for Otis and I to camp out. Well everything was great for the first few hours, I had brought my computer outside that way we could watch a movie and hang out before we went to sleep. We watch a few movies then started to settle in when he started to hear things moving around. Its never good to hear things moving around at night because we have black bears and mountain lions roaming around. I figured that it wasn't anything to be worried about so I tried to fall asleep but every few minutes he would lift his head and start to half cry half whimper. So I decided to get up and show him that there wasn't anything to be scared of. We went back in to the tent and started to fall asleep and he started his whining again, I knew that I would not get any sleep if he was going to be doing this all night so we went inside for the night. I plan to camp out there tonight myself and I am sure that I wont be woken up by my buddies whimpers poor fella. All in all it was fun to have him in there with me since I am leaving in a few days and wont be able to take him with me like I want. 

Seeing The Light

  I have been thinking about this quote for the past few days and thinking how its so true. It says "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." That's an amazing statement everybody struggles in life and for some it seems more than others, we can never forget that Jesus told us that He will never give us anything we can not handle. When I think about that, I think of my Daughters and how we had to give them up for adoption. That was the hardest thing I have ever done and I pray nothing gets harder than that in my life. But knowing that I can truly handle everything Jesus throws my way as a sign of relief and we have nothing to worry about. He is always there to get us through our troubles. There is no better feeling than knowing everything will always be OK in the end. As I look back a few weeks ago where I don't think my Alaska trip is going to work I gave myself to God and everything is great. I feel that I am truly looking through a key hole of all the great things that are yet to happen in life. I feel that all I can see right now till I open the door fully to God and take in all  his wonder-us gifts he offers us each and everyday is just a glimpse of what is yet to come . So I am 15 days and a wake up lol (Army people will understand) till my adventure starts in Alaska. This coming weekend I am having a garage sale to try and make a few more dollars for when I get up there. I also cant wait to get a chance to meet the priest from the church in Fairbanks that way I can figure out if they have a youth group or a young adults program also I would love to have either Matthew Kelly or Sean Forrest come and speak up there. I have heard them both and they are great exactly what it seems the church needs now a days to try and bring people back and fall in love with Jesus Christ again like I have. There is no better feeling than being close to Him Period. I look back and see how lost I was just a month ago and don't know how I survived without Him, but that's another thing He is always beside you weather you believe in Him or not He is there waiting on someone like us to share the Light with them and open there hearts to the Lord once again.

The Rhythm of Life

Sat. March 12, 2011

Today was a very early and long day. I woke up at 2:30am and couldn't go back to sleep but its all good because I had to go get my little brother Phil and be back home by 5am to get ready for a church seminar with Matthew Kelly as the guest speaker who is also the author of the book I am reading (The Rhythm of Life, great book would recommend to everybody) which I have put to work and feel it has helped me to get ready for Alaska and has helped me become more spiritually with God again. So I went into town to make sure dad would be happy with Phil being there but long story short he didn't want to get up so I went home and got up to the church and was blown way with all Matthew had to say. I also helped with the book sales on the breaks and during lunch which was awesome interacting with the people from Immaculate Conception Church (where mom and dad go) who I have never met and made a really good friend his name is Shane and works for Matthew and we hit it off right away last night at the dinner we had for the people who helped set up the event. I was able to talk to a great number of them the past few days about my up coming adventures and also how God was working in my life and wow I was surprised to find out how many were interested in me. Yes today was long but it was well worth it. I am glad dad bought me a ticket and got me to go I thank God so much for the people he is having come up to me and ask how things are going and its wonderful I hope that this continues and turns into something great. I know it will if I truly give myself up to God and strive to be the best version of myself possible. I also thank God for giving me a second chance to try to get back with the church and maybe have Matthew come up to Alaska once I get up there and spread the word to people up there. Like I have said before you are never done working for God until Jesus calls you home . So dream big and Live Life Passionately. Go after what you want and pray that's what Jesus wants you to be doing. Matthew said today we should try and pray with our hand open and give our self's  fully up to him and things will be provided for us.

Long Day

Tues. March 8, 2011


     Well today was a long but very productive day. I sold my truck for $500 and that took forever I had went into town to get it sold around 11:30ish and the owner of the company I was selling it to was going to be out till 1. So I decided to do over to the service station where it was parked at to clean out anything that was left in there. Once I got that done it was around noon. I still had an hour till the owner would be back in his office so I went and talked to Jim just hanging out while he was working away and we got to talking about how I am going to be holding a garage sale next weekend. So he asked me what all I am going to be having there and I was telling him about a few things. While I was talking you could see that he was thinking about something so I said well what is it. He said what would it take to get that bookshelf and an old Ethan Allen table I told him that I would have to talk to my mom and see. I went outside and called her and she said to get as much for it as you can since its going to your adventures. After we talked for a minute I went back in and told him I could take no less than $200 for both items then he said that would be fine. In the mean time the tow truck showed up at 3:30 and I got my check and it was on its way out of here. After it was gone I started to think of all the memories I had with it and almost wished I didn't sell it but the money is going for something that means the world to me a Fresh Start.

    While I sit here I get so excited and pleased to have all the wonderful people I know in my life helping me reach my goal of getting to Alaska. I also want to thank God for all the wonderful days he has let me life I hope I have many more and can serve him better than I ever have.

Another Great Sunday

Sun. March 6, 2011

    Today was just the same old plain jane day. I got to sleep in which was nice but I knew that I needed to get ready for church, my church, the church I feel welcome to. I started going to this church back in high school I think my Junier years and by my Senior year I was helping out more than I thought I could. The best part was that people in the youth group were looking up to me and that is The best feeling when somebody is looking up to you to learn more about Jesus. WOW if you haven't felt that before its amazing its truly like your flying with the angles your that awe struck. But after my senior year you are let go from the youth group and like many Catholic youth you have no direction to go until your a little older. So I started to to try and make a young adults group which fell apart almost the second I started to think this would be a great idea but others thought it not to be good. So I fell off the band wagon and headed down a bad path except now I am on the up and up which is great I love this feeling. So today was great I got to see Fr. Curby which last time I saw him was when he was still in seminarian school becoming a priest. His sermon was awesome he did a great job. Talking about a boy who wanted to become catholic and his dad forbid it because he thought that the catholic church is dead. Well I beg to differ I think that the church is more alive now than it ever has been other than when Jesus walked on earth. But the boy did what his father told him to do not to join the catholic church but I know God has a few trick up his sleeves and that one day the boys father will see that we are alive and doing wonderful walking with Jesus. Thank you Lord for this awesome day and help me to strive to be more like you every day love ya Jesus

Wonderful Family Friends

     Thur. March 3, 2011

     Well God has been working in my life the past few days. For one I have a wonderful family friend (who wants to stay anonymous) buy my plane ticket to Anchorage Alaska thank you so much who ever you are that was a hugh gift and words can not say how excited I am to have that done. For two the past few days I have done some work for another wonderful lady which gave me another $300 towards my adventures to Alaska so slowley but surely I am making head way towards my trip. Other great news I got my summer job in Fairbanks AK working for the Holland American Princess Cruise Line and start that late April (I cant wait). So the next step is to figure out a way to get from Anchorage to Fairbanks for free or very little cost. Another step to take is to finally get my truck sold and get my $500 for that which would give me a total of $800. Some more great news here on the mountian during the winter months they have a get together at peoples house and last night it was at the peoples house I did the work at so I brought up some extra flyers to give to the other families were very pleased with my work and were interested in hiring me to do some work at there homes.

       Dear Jesus please help me to get more work and make enough money so I can do great things in Alaska and serve you in otherplaces in the world. I know if I truly pray to Jesus he will help me to acheave my goal. Thank you Lord for putting Great wonderful people in my life that care to see me reach my goal and serve you like I try to do every day. Your wonderful Lord in every way imagenable.
       I love you Jesus

Live Life Passionately

Mon. 28 Feb. 2011


    Matthew Kelly says "Live Life Passionately." What does that mean, I would say to strive to be the best person God intended me to be. Which that's not something that can be done in one day and say OK I'm done with that whats next.That's something you have to truly work on each and every day in life. You are never finished doing Gods Will until He calls you home to be with Him once again. I have been thinking about something my dad told me just the other day he said now a days we live to be around 70 to 80 years old and I am 22 now that means a quarter of my life on earth is gone and I haven't done much to live the way I would think God would be wanting me to be. I have two wonderful blessings in my life that I helped bring into life there names are Emma Kate and Meredeth Grace. I truly have had to struggle some days to even get out of bed after thinking all night about them. We gave them up for adoption when they were born. I miss them terribly and the pain I suffer from having to hand them to two wonderful families is more than one should have to feel in a lifetime. I know that they are safe but its hard living a life when people just want to know everything about you and for me to have to tell that story time and time again Its more than I can bare sometimes. But with my hardship two great families have been truly blessed with the greatest gift they could receive. A Child.

     On to another thing I read tonight. Someone said "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid" and that makes me think of when Jesus was in the desert and the Devil was tempting Him to go to the highest Mountain and throw himself down and God will send all the Angles to his rescue. Jesus was Bold enough to stand up to the devil and say no we need to strive to be more like Jesus in this sense were we need to try harder to be able to say no to the temptations the Devil buts us through.

        Be Bold, don't be afraid to dream. Dream big and figure out how to accomplish your dreams and don't worry about failing. People said to Thomas Edison after he invented the light bulb how does it feel to know you failed a thousand times trying to make this and he said I did not fail I found out a thousand ways not to make a light bulb. I thanks God for every day he lets me be with my family and letting me try to live out my life the way He intended me to live it. I also thank Him for my parents because if it wasn't for them I would not have gone to church yesterday and listened to the readings and how they have opened my heart again to let the light of God back in.
    Thank you Lord

In the Beginning

                                                                                                                                 Sun. 27 Feb, 2011

     So I went to church with mom today. It was the first time I have gone for me in past 2 or 3 years since I graduated High School in 2007. It was very nice the readings for mass seemed to be written to me and my Alaskan Adventure saying not to worry about what to eat or what to drink or even wear each day that if you give yourself to God He will provide you what you need. Also think of the birds and the squirrels and the other animals how they have no care in the world and yet God provides them a place to stay and food to eat. People should be more like the animals how they live off what God provides them each and every day with no worry. My whole journey to Alaska is given up to Jesus if he wants me to go then I will go and serve Him the best that I can. My whole trip is for him and how I can show to myself the reason God put me on this green Earth. I have no other purpose in life other than to Love, Cherish, and Serve our Lord Jesus the creator of everything.
      Dear Lord please help me to cleanse myself of all the wrong things and help me to clean up my heart so I can let You move back in and help my path of life.
   Right now I am the man from the Footsteps poem where I am looking back and a few years ago I see two sets of prints and since then I only see one so I ask God where have you been I have needed you so much the past few years and you were not there you Left me to fend for myself while it seemed everything was falling down around me, then I hear God laughing at me and He says my Son the reason you only saw one set of prints is because I was carrying you through all the hardship and pain. I hope soon I will be able to walk again side by side with Jesus like I once did a few years back I loved being so close o Jesus and touching so many lives that I did while I was in Youth Group those days were great but I truly believe that God has a great plan for me and those days will be even be Greater. I truly wish that I can become half the spiritual man that my father on earth is. I know no one Greater than him other than our Father in Heaven.
  Thank you Lord for this wonderful day you gave me with the people I love.
                 MY FAMILY